Odd-sounding things I have said to the Mimi this month which I swear made perfect sense at the time:
"It is rude to try to stuff an emery board in someone's sock--especially while they're still wearing it."
"Give me back the DVD and I'll let you play with this hatchet instead."
"You're being a jerk. I don't pick up jerks."
"I am Ma-Ma. Da-Da is the one with the beard."
"We do not disassemble the furniture for entertainment."
"Must you be a punk [this early in the morning, in Fred Meyer, at the library, just because your barette fell out]?"
"Go ahead, throw a fit--you really think anyone's going to notice a screaming toddler in Wal-Mart?"